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How fandom affected my ~life decisions~
Throughout university, one will be shocked at how much KAT-TUN / my idols have impacted my decisions. I made three major choices solely based on my love towards them and I'm glad I didn't end up in a mess (well, I did, sort-of, but I managed to iron it all out). I don't have any other writing outlets and I thought I ought to pen down the good times so... /blows dust off this page

#1 Creative Writing (CW)

I made most of my close friends in university during CW classes. And I solely took CW because I was writing fanfic then (and will be attempting to continue with it / at least complete some of the long ass 26 pages ones which I have abandoned out of sheer laziness). Prior to fanfics, I had always wanted to pursue a minor in psychology. Imagine the fun I would have been missing out.

I never expected to be good at it, having only scored B for my first introduction class. But as I progressed with fiction, playwriting, non-fiction and screenwriting, I could see vast improvements and eventually wound up with an A average across all the modules. I also fell so deeply in love with screenwriting and non-fiction that my bookcase looks very different now compared to before.

#2 Going to Japan

I never discovered my thirst for travelling alone and loved sticking in packs till I decided I needed to travel to Japan for a 6 months long exchange programme for KAT-TUN's concert. I also did not realise I could go without sleep for 56 hours and still function relatively well (e.g. climb a mountain / explore castle ruins LOL) As the youngest child in my family, I was constantly pampered and depended on my family a lot. But when I have a burning desire to see KAT-TUN LIVE in Fukuoka, I decided to pack up my bags and said bye #heartless

When I came back from the most magically experience, along with a new skill of crafting ceramics from clay, my school administrative staff basically gave me hell and I ended up having to take additional core modules due to module mapping issues. I ended up taking 8 core modules in one semester to ensure that I could graduated on time but that was also when my grades improved tremendously. I guess with a fire under my ass, I could work a lot better (?)

#3 FYP Project

When I had to submit my proposal for my graduation thesis, Joker Game was just showing and it was all about ~deception~ etc. So I got really interested in that topic and jumped into the deep end of the pool because 1) I discovered SG had 0 researches done on this topic ever so I had to be a pioneer of sorts?!?! 2) My supervising prof knew jackshit about it I later found out this applies to the entire department 3) Extremely little resources and 0 guidance

I was about to give up and switch topics but the Joker Game poster on my bedroom wall told me no. So I listened to it and stuck with a "groundbreaking pioneer study" in the local context. Imagine my surprise when my grade returned as an A+ instead of a "F you are retained".

My motivations cannot be any wrong-er than this.

Overall, I think idols have been a positive impact in my life :DDb My wallet disagrees.


So two weeks ago I officially graduated from university and will be stepping into the working force. The only real regret I have is spotting a job related to my degree (and fyp) too late into the job hunting months and I've already accepted another one even though they got back to me within 3 days. Being the low risk taker, clearly I didn't turn away my existing job offer for a ~maybe~. But then again I feel that the learning curve is steep so hopefully I take interest in being constantly exposed to new things (because I like learning).

I also hope that I can get back into the groove of jpop because frankly, I haven't really been following KAT-TUN closely since early 2015 due to the avalanche of work I got myself into after returning from Japan. And when I finally save up enough money after months of work slavery, my wish is that KAT-TUN would have fully recharged and return with a concert announcement <3

After all this years, my motivations are / will never be in the right places. 


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